Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Invasion of “Cyber-Bullies”



Bullies have been around for decades.  Before the Internet, bullying was limited to the school yard or neighborhoods.   The victim was confronted by the bully and a group of his or her friends and taunted.  A lot of times, after the last school bell rang, the taunting became physical and the victim was beaten up.  The reasons for the bullying were varied.  Maybe the victim was from a poor family and couldn’t afford all the newest clothes.  It could have been because a child wore glasses, or braces, or had freckles.  It could even have been because the teacher singled out one child to always help pass out test papers or to answer questions in class.  Whatever the so-called reason was, bullies were an ever-present threat to the happy childhood of many kids.  Today is no different except that in this age of technology, most of the bullying happens over the Internet.  Welcome to the age of the cyber-bully.

Bullying is no longer confined to the school yard or the neighborhoods.  Now, a cyber-bully can hide behind a computer and remain nameless and faceless.  The attacks no longer happen just at school; they are carried out over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  Since most kids today have cell phones that also take really good pictures, it’s easy for one to snap an unflattering picture of a classmate and send it over the Internet for all to see.  Captions are added to make the pictures even more humiliating.  In the movie “Mean Girls”, the group of “cool girls” had a “burn book” with photos and comments about those they hated.  Today, that “burn book” is a Facebook page made for the sole purpose of hurting others.

During the last few weeks, I have seen quite a few stories on the news about kids, some as young as 10, killing themselves because they were cyber-bullied.  Why?  Because some nameless, faceless cowards started rumors about them online, or posted pictures of them that they were embarrassed by.  And, yes, these cyber-bullies are cowards.  They don’t have the nerve to say something face to face, but behind a computer screen, they’re brave.  A very unnerving facet of all this is that the cyber-bully could be the victims best friend in real life; the friend that he or she confides in and who pretends to give support. 
   
Parents need to talk to their kids about this issue.  Kids need to understand that what happens online is unimportant.  What’s important is real life.  Those who know you know what is true and what is false.  The kids also need to know that they have to confide in a parent or teacher if they find themselves in a cyber-bullying situation.  How many lives could have been saved if these kids knew they could talk to someone about what they were going through?  The schools need to be made aware of any instances of cyber-bullying.  In some cases, the police should get involved.  If things get out of hand, the police will be able to track down a cyber-bully.

Above all, the victims of cyber-bullying need to know that suicide is never the answer.  It may seem like all is hopeless, but it’s not.  Dear Abby once said that suicide is “a permanent solution to a temporary problem”.  This is so true.  Parents should monitor their kids’ social media pages.  They can’t let this go on until it’s too late.  Let your kids know not to give a cyber-bully the power to control their lives.  Cyber-bullies and real life bullies truly are just cowards who act tough to appear brave.  The only way to stop them is to take a stand and show them that their words can’t hurt you.  Hold your head up high and don’t listen to the whispered comments or read their hate on social media.  If everyone took a stand against these bullies, they would continue to move on to the next victim and the next until they realize that no one cares what they have to say.  It’s up to the parents to teach their kids the art of ignoring.

We all want our kids to be safe.  Please take a few minutes to download the free Privacy Guide located at the top of this page.  It will give suggestions and tips on how to stay safe in many online and off line situations.

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