The Importance of Parental Supervision

This article is a bit different from most of the Internet privacy articles in this blog, however, a particular news story prompted me to write this (Utah Mom’s Facebook Check May Have Saved Son From Shooting Plot).  The article appeared on The Huffington Post site on April 8, 2014.   While many parents are realizing the importance of supervising and monitoring their kids when they go on the Internet, there are still many parents who don’t see the point of this.

Obviously, one parent in Salt Lake City, Utah is thankful that she chose to monitor her son’s social media.  If she didn’t do this, she, and possibly many other parents, would be mourning the loss of their kids.   The mom, who was not identified, saw threats made to her son on his Facebook page and called police.  When police went to the school, they found two teens sitting in a car near the targeted victim’s high school.  In the car, they found a gun, a loaded magazine, marijuana and a bong.  The two were immediately arrested. 

Another trend developing are kids going to answer sites asking how they can get away with having social media behind their parents’ backs.  In order to have a social media account, a child must be at least 13 years old.  We already know that some parents help their younger kids open accounts, but there are some who don’t feel their kids are mature enough at 13, so they won’t allow it.  Some parents will monitor their kids’ social media and will take it away because they have seen posts they don’t approve of.  Here is an example of the types of questions being asked (this particular example was found on Yahoo Answers) by the kids whose parents either won’t allow it, or have taken it away because of inappropriate, on-line behavior:

I want my Facebook account back?

Ok so I am 14 and my dad has confiscated my Facebook account because of a past incident and I have understood my mistake but he won't give me my password.  I really want to add kids from my school.

Update 1: No need for anymore answer because i am making a new one and i doubt my dad would find that out unless i tell him that i would not tell so soon.

Here is the answer that the 14 year old chose as the Best Answer:

I see your update, but have to answer.

This is not a very smart idea. As a 14 year old, I know you think parents are stupid, but they aren't. Your dad will find out about the other account and then you will not only lose Facebook, but you will lose other privileges as well. You will no longer be trusted.

You don't say how long your dad has been holding your FB hostage, but you need to give him some time while you show him you can be responsible. He didn't delete your account, so he is going to give it back, you're just "grounded" from FB for a while. Sneaking around isn't helping your case. In fact, it's hurting it.

You need to have an open discussion with your dad and show him that you realize your mistake. You could also go over the linked article and check out the guidelines. Discuss them with your dad and see what the two of you can come up with as a compromise so he will allow you to access your account again.

But, if this just happened, you could wait a while before adding people. It seems that you really learned nothing from all this.

Voice of reason, right?  Well, the 14 year old made this comment after choosing this answer:

Thanks for the advice but i made a new one and i doubt he would check. I am gonna tell him when i am between 16 - 18 and when he fully understands me.

As you can see, the child is confident that her dad won’t even bother to search Facebook to see if she opened another account.  She also realizes that her dad won’t check her computer to see if there is another Facebook account on it.

We have all tried to get things over on our parents at one point or another in our teen years.  It’s kind of like a coming of age thing.  This generation of teenagers is no different, however, when it comes to the Internet, many serious issues could arise.  Social media can track your location, so if the kids’ social media isn’t set to “Private”, any random stranger can find him or her.  This can put the child in danger and it can also put the parents in danger if the child gives too much information about their comings and goings. 

 

Privacy is also an issue.  Does any parent want strangers to see their kid’s personal photos or read about the latest family drama?  Judging by the above question and follow-up comment by a 14 year old, parents must not only monitor their kids’ social media, they must also periodically check the kids’ computers and cell phones to see if there are any “unapproved” programs or apps installed.

Many parents will argue that this is spying on their kids.  It’s spying if the parents do it without the kids’ knowledge.  If the child is made aware that at least one parent will be closely monitoring social media usage, it shouldn’t be considered spying.  This is necessary in order to keep the kids safe.  It’s better to know that your kids are safe than to be known as the “cool parent” who never checks up on their kids.  That one Utah mom still has her son because she knew the importance of parental supervision. 

 

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